Now I know where to turn to when sleep simply refuses me. Of course here, my blog awaits me!
When I come here, it is never with a plan to write or convey anything. It takes place on its own..words begin to fall in line one after the other. Other than that, I simply don’t believe that I really want to write. Because like most other things which befell my way, even writing has come my way. Someone once said that a subject chooses you and it’s not the other way round..so I’m thrown here sometimes excitedly, sometimes in a frenzy and other times lost and confused trying to decipher why I’m here!
Well, this time again I found a new truth! Amazing, how one can understand life in so many ways!
I always thought being a pessimist was wrong..I tried so many ways to change my perceptions, but I guess I’m still a student of life.
Well, there are so many ways to mask one’s pessimism..the best is pretension! How I love it when people think they are trying to fool me…its a pretty art.
Without our egos, we would not identify ourselves! We are not what we are made to believe what we are! And the loathsome beggar that resides in us who goes asking for approval every millisecond of our lives is our accursed ego! Ego is a spirit, an entity who makes us act and behave in a way we would not like to!
But it’s so difficult to see that, aint it? Why would I fear failure anymore if I didnt have to prove to anyone? Why would I feel insulted or proud? why would I feel wronged or hurt? Why would I feel like hurting someone or avenging myself! Why would I feel ugly or disliked? Why would I want social acceptance? Why would I despair!!!
I feel really amused to see people chasing money, ambition, youth, life and then speak about peace and God! Its such a hypocrisy! Poor souls! They are so unaware of it..Because the greatest con man fooling them is their ego!
I love this paradox! Simply because I’m amused to see how I’m being fooled every moment of my life! I’ve always loved films and stories about con men. There is something desirable about them..and at the same time pitiable!
There is nothing one can do much about this than to feel amused! Because it would take more than a lifetime to acknowledge, understand or even come to terms with the conman!