Suffering is a reality of our life that we do not readily accept. Maybe after a series of grievous events or vulnerability and helplessness about certain things in life, we do learn to live with it. In the process it may make us demoniac or wise depending on how we take it. And then sooner or later we set out on a quest to understand the nature of such suffering. And what we find is surprising indeed!
Made as we are of matter, we keep attracting more matter. We attract things and people in our life consciously and unconsciously or subconsciously. As matter we cannot escape this quality of our existence and the process is a very strenuous one. We need to compete with different intensities of attraction and naturally the more powerful one wins! But we cannot see this process in such a simple scientific way. We cannot detach ourselves when we are being continually pulled and pushed by different forces; so we end up attaching ourselves emotionally to the outcome. This is how we feel jealous, angry or depressed in the process of competing for matter. And these in other words is suffering. These emotions are monsters designed to keep us away from sanity and reality…because Nature requires both good and bad elements to sustain the creation process.
Well, this does not mean the winner enjoys unending, unconditional bliss.It is typical behavior to be happy in face of victories and sad in face of loss. But this is not how it is in reality. It is actually what we imagine we would feel.Anything that we cannot attract would be very unpleasant for our existence. As a result loss gives us extreme discomfiture. And just because we feel we lost,we wonder how it would have made us feel if we had won. And we attach every agreeable emotion to something that we lost. And it is more intense because it eluded us.
What we fail to understand is the finer implications of such achievements.
The most common example is that of how the poor understand money.For the poor, attaining materialistic things becomes a very acute requirement.But what he doesn’t realize is, there are a plethora of other problems that the rich may suffer. But working on the pleasure principle we would want to attract only the pleasurable things in life. But that is not how nature works. Desiring a life of a king is to invite greater responsibility, worry, enmity and lack of peace. But the common man may be awed only by the wealth and the respect that the king commands.
In the process both parties lose their peace of mind: the poor desiring wealth and the wealthy desiring something else.
This continuous process of desiring one thing after another and the level of intensity in desiring it determines what we get. So the lesser we desire, lesser the suffering.
Once we understand this process and let matter work on its own without attaching ourselves to the outcome, suffering has no chance to destroy us.