Dissatisfaction

What do you do when everything fails to make you happy? Why does it become imperative to find joy in everything? Why do we seek fulfillment in all that we do?
Why do we come to this stage of utter dissatisfaction with everything?

They say you are aimless, you don’t have a vision…but your biological make up allows you a limited vision.
You have been taught to dream the dreams that you dream, and so by default you have a stupid vision…which is actually an illusion, let’s make it poetic, and call it a hallucination… not your fault, really…

What do you do next? Unfortunately, you are a rational creature.

You decide to curse your life silently under your breath, and feeling intensely the mortality of your life, continue dreaming the same static dreams.
How long? How far will you go?

They also organize games and say you will be rewarded…and keep the reward unattainable… No one really knows what it is…but all of you have been trying very hard…and…

I’m sick of this all…and see the demoniac…

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Restless

I did nothing this weekend, by which I mean, I did nothing productive this weekend (other than writing this post), and it has left me with an overpowering sense of uselessness and thoughts of an aimless existence. But on the other hand, I needed a break because I have been working really very hard the past week almost to the point of exhaustion. This has made me wonder how do I achieve a balance between these two states of being.

And then I realized I would never be able to feel really comfortable with what I’m doing. By being comfortable I do not mean happy nor do I want to derive a purpose from my activity or feel proud of it. Being comfortable simply means to want to attain the mechanical state of doing without any emotional attachment to the actions.

As I was absorbed thinking along these lines, I made an amazing discovery. Let me share it with you..

We will never feel comfortable with what we are doing because at the subtlest level, the idea of work is related to matter and to achieve any kind of sense from it is the work of the ego. The main reason we feel uncomfortable is because matter changes constantly and the ego derives meaning from matter. This means that if we align more with the ego, we are going to derive meaning, aim, purpose, everything from the matter that is constantly shape shifting. This is bound to keep us in a restless state of existence, which may be perceived as unstable and not something to look forward to (the best example is how we tend to find stability and security in every damned thing on this planet!).

But if we align ourselves with the soul which is eternal and unchanging, we may not feel ‘uncomfortable’. The real difficulty is to make this journey from matter to soul, and it happens when you start living in the present and become an observer, not only of everything around you, but also of yourself, of the matter that you are made of!

 

Three Sides

Image result for we make life complicated quotes

You are going to enjoy this blog post I’m sure. I’ve made a discovery that has made me take a look at my life in a positive way!

Let me get straight to the point.

There are three areas of our life that need careful understanding.

We love something.

We obsess about something.

We are emotionally attached to something.

If we come to an honest understanding of these three ‘sides’ of our personality, we will, in an instant, simplify our lives.

(Even the kindest and most pure soul on this Earth will display these traits as long as he lives inside a body!)

Each one of us, in varying degrees, loves, obsesses and is emotionally attached to different material objects of this world. The idea is to find out what they are, and then go after them passionately.

As we headlong dash towards those objects, we can ensure that others feel the least amount of discomfort. (It may not be possible if your obsession works against someone’s welfare..but then, after all, we are pieces of jigsaw in the universal puzzle!)

Keeping it short, to give you some food for thought!

 

 

Role Models

If you have had a good childhood, your role models would have first been glamorous dolls and later as you grew up, hard-working, self-made personalities.

What exactly are role models? They are a projection of our fulfilled expectations. We adore them because they define success for us. They resonate with our deepest desires. Sometimes they give purpose to our lives. (Otherwise most people wouldn’t know what to do with their lives!)

Well, I believe that we need not have any role models in life. Although I always appreciate and am awed by anyone who shows a religious attitude towards his work or vocation, I do not think I need to design my life according to those standards, only because they are highly valued and are very successful. I’ll tell you why.

We are all unique personalities, making this world a colorful place, giving a bit of our color to everyone we come across. Though I do not accept everything that Osho says, one of his lectures did make me look at our life from another perspective. He said just like a mango seed that has a blueprint of the entire tree hidden in itself, an infant is born with a blueprint according to which his life unfolds as he grows.

In other words, we need not seek affirmation for our actions by following a role model. We do not need any role models. We are complete in ourselves. What we lack is a faith to believe in ourselves. We cannot see our worth unless it promises some material benefit. That is the whole idea of looking up to a role model. It is an assurance that we will never fail. As teens we want to become a rockstar and as an adult we want to become a millionaire.

What this attitude does is that, you keep hopping from one ambition to another, without ever stopping to think about your real worth. You worth becomes directly proportional to your ability to be like your role model.

Now, a valid argument to this idea is that, children need to live by example and so, it is important to have good role models. However, how many times the role models we look up to, turn out to be defective; their life based on a faulty, groundless material ambition. (As humans, we are always going to be enmeshed in our vague insecurities and carry our shadow sides with us!)  Doesn’t that leave us incomplete and broken, rendering our life aimless in an instant?

The solution put forth to this by many is to have a better role model, the definition of which evades them completely.

That is because, there is no better or worse role model. Each individual is learning to grow on his own path in his own way. Sure enough the seed that he carries within himself is one day going to bloom. In the process he may become a source of light to others; however in no way does it mean that others do not have the ability to shine on their own!

Journey

When I was a child, I dreamed of world-travel.

As an eternal student of life, the one thing I most appreciate is knowledge in any form. So, I’ve always wanted to learn as much as I could from every corner of the world. (Well, Travel XP and social networking has now made it really easy to learn about many new things which we cannot access physically…)

But to speak about traveling and journeying, I never really understood the real meaning of this activity until recently. The conclusions that we draw from the sensory perception of the world, can be quite misleading. We sense and feel the world and keep making it an object of sensory pleasures. That is how I looked at this whole idea of journeying. Knowledge that I wanted was not ‘knowledge’ but an experience to satisfy my senses. What is tourism anyway? What do we expect to learn in a 3 Nights 4 Days package?

Now, if you are a materialistic person, you would consider the ‘idea’of journeying fascinating though we all know the real fun evades us even when we are participating in all the tomfoolery.

But considering you have a temperament which makes you thirsty for more knowledge and forces you to dwell beyond the sensory aspects of life, how would travel satisfy your desires? Let’s talk about an artist and what he craves. The artist wants a muse whom he seeks desperately all over the world, if he can afford to…For an artist, traveling the world is more of a job than a pastime. His mind is always at work absorbing the messages that the variety of sights afford him. His mind is busy interpreting the sensory perceptions and making use of them for his art. Though he is not as ignorant as the materialist, he is still dealing with a material world.

So, from a material viewpoint, journeying becomes an important activity. But then again, there are two aspects of our world. We dwell in the physical world, but we also have a spiritual world where messages pass intuitively. Traveling in such a world does not happen physically, but intuitively. This world is also the world which allows you to access the deeper recesses of your mind. This is the place where the real muse resides. This is the world from where creativity can be unleashed in its most powerful and imaginative form. This is the world which tells you the real meaning of journeying. The meanings that you derive by exploring this spiritual world will end your ‘quest’.

I believe that people, in reality, do not have a slightest idea why they journey. Journeying is a quest to find meaning in life. That meaning keeps evading us unless we look deep beyond the senses. The physical world will keep satisfying our sensory pleasures and keep us unfulfilled. The spiritual world will deeply satisfy our longings and make us tranquil. And then, we will greatly enjoy even the simple sensory pleasures like jumping in the surf. And our muses will follow us everywhere!

 

 

 

Forgiveness

“If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven;

if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

                                                             ~ Gospel of John 20:23

These profound words are a key to understanding the various experiences that we have in our life. However, do not consider this verse in isolation. Related to this is the theory of Karma which often evades our understanding. Then, there is another closely related phenomenon, that is, reincarnation. If you haven’t understood already by now, how I intend to connect these dots, let me explain…

Karma and Reincarnation: We reincarnate to experience the effects of an action performed in an earlier life. The actions can be good or bad, and likewise the fruit.

Now let’s consider an event that triggered the fruit of karma: For a supposedly material gain, someone spreads false rumors about me, as a consequence of which I lose a prestigious position. I later come to know about the culprit. Now, the action of spreading false rumors about me is simply a deed, karma. This karma is neither negative nor positive. The result of this karma depends on how the person feels about the deed that he has done, or while he was doing it, and also how I feel about what he has done to me. Now let’s suppose I feel very angry about it and cannot forgive him for the wrong done to me. I work out an elaborate plan to cause similar damage to his reputation, but do not succeed. Soon I die and according to the reincarnation theory take birth again because of my unfulfilled ambitions. Now maybe in this life, according to my hopes and desires and past ‘deeds’ I am able to avenge myself. But of course, now I do not have any memory of the incident because now I’m a reincarnated character and the karma is simply playing out. Now for example, I get to avenge the person in a similar way by spreading false rumors. In a way I continue being a perpetrator and a victim in this cycle of karma and reincarnation. I may not know I’m trapped in this cycle.

But suppose I choose to forget and forgive, what happens next? I immediately eliminate the result for that ‘karma’ for that person right away. It also means liberation for me from the cycle of rebirth, because I will not have any unfulfilled ambitions. But if the person, trapped in a guilty conscience, takes the self-blame to his death-bed, maybe he will be reincarnated again with the hopes of performing a penance and may also possibly experience ‘humiliation’ or whatever he wishes to experience to ‘absolve’ his guilt.

Does this make any sense? As we are already deep into this cycle, there is no way of knowing when, where and how it all started, but we can definitely bring it to an end by a simple act of forgiveness.

‘Sins’ according to me are subjective in nature. In a way, we commit a sin every time we offend someone (including ourselves), because it binds us in a cycle of rebirth.

Feeling Grateful

One of the most common problems of human life is our tendency to focus on our deficiencies. I’m not wealthy enough, I’m not beautiful enough, I don’t have a great career, and my child is not strong enough! I wouldn’t say it is wrong to focus on those areas, but then we tend to define ourselves by such standards. This, according to me, is the only reason why we feel so miserable. We obsess about the deficiencies in our life.

After obsessing a great deal, some people turn towards spirituality or religion to eliminate the pain they experience. However, religion and spirituality are arduous practices and many a times, when people don’t get the desired result, they feel more miserable. And this is how some claim that they do not believe in a god at all, or spirituality is a sham.

If you observe yourselves, anything that you firmly believe is the result of deep conditioning that has been happening to you since birth. Your elders tell you pray to god and god will help you. You believe that and continue believing it as you grow older. The elders stop teaching you as you grow old or they keep saying the same thing that they did when you were a child.

What they fail to realize is that, the study of spirituality has to deepen and grow more complex as the child progresses from one grade to another.  It is a subject just like any other subject at school. But we drill the same thing year after year into the minds of our children and there is no progress for generations. Left to fend for ourselves, we fall prey to bogus gurus who prey on our ignorance.

Then, there are people who think spirituality is escapism. (Who wouldn’t, considering the potent ecstasy that you experience!) Again, this is a bias. Spirituality is nothing but a way of life and it does not mean that you have to give up on your materialistic desires. But again, spirituality is not a way to further your materialistic ambitions. “We humans are more concerned with having than with being.” (LUCY)

Spirituality is just a way to tell you that you should be concerned only with ‘being’. And one way it does that, is by making you grateful. ‘Being grateful’ like spirituality is also a way of living—an attitude that you will or you won’t cultivate. If you think you are spiritual, you will gradually realize that you feel more grateful about different aspects of your life. This is the only way to measure your spiritual progress.

You will no longer focus on the deficiencies in your life. This is the greatest benefit of spirituality. It changes your attitude towards life. No human being is completely miserable or completely contented, unless he believes so. ‘Being grateful’ doesn’t mean that you live a lie or you ignore the ‘difficult’ things in your life. It only means that you need to appreciate the ‘good’ things in your life more often. You’d be amazed how contented you’d begin to feel, in spite of all the difficulties that you face.

This attitude may gradually develop as you accept spirituality as a way of life. But, sometimes you may need to learn it and practice it more often.

 

 

 

 

Relationships

This post is as random as the others. Essentially this blog serves my purpose of capturing fleeting ideas in their raw form. Sometimes, I also get out of my bed deep into the night to write a post, to make sure my thoughts do not drift away . I’m sure all writers experience this often. And well, I’m lazy too. Some nights I procrastinate a great deal and the next morning all I know is that the muse that was getting me all excited about something has disappeared, the ideas dispersed like seeds to barren lands.

So tonight, I’m back to my blog. Tonight is the auspicious day of Durga Ashtami. No, I’m not going to write a spiritual post..I’m no longer naive. I’m now more interested in the lesser known sacred archetypes and how they help us define our life. But about that, later, in some other post. Well, on Durga Ashtami day, I’ve always experienced a longing of some kind, (which I now call my soul thirst) which is fulfilled only through a creative pursuit such as engaging in a ritual or other artistic pursuit such as writing. It is said that the spiritual energies are at their peak on this day, and I’d like to believe that.

So, here I am, feeling ecstatic and venting it all in the form of words. I’m not going to ramble on. I never pen my thoughts unless I can provide a definite message. Tonight, I’ve been dwelling upon relationships that we have with other people. Well, this area of life is an utter mess for quite a lot of people. I’m not going to state the cliched statements of how ego ruins relationships. It’s time to go beyond that. Ego cannot be eliminated, though it can be ignored after a great deal of practice. What I’ve come to observe is that we have been conditioned to look upon ourselves as ‘me’ and the others as ‘they’. It is always a one versus the other situation which we are trained to look upon since birth. How fanatically we name our child and then religiously teach him his name!

Haven’t you wondered how our perspectives about our parents change as we grow…Parents have always been the same. But with each year, we perceive them in a different light. (If you are lucky enough, you will understand the significance of the choices that they make.) So, why do our perspectives shift? The only logical reason is that the change happens within us. As a rule parents always react when they respond to a child. A child always reacts when he responds back. And this is because we always treat each other as different from us. This locks us in a conflict. And with time the conflict gets deeper and unsolvable. That was the only message of the novel ‘Frankenstein’.

The only way to resolve this conflict is to start treating the other as a part of our self. Just like we do not want to hurt a part of our body, we must not hurt the other. This is the only lesson that we need to learn in life. In other words, all the spiritual practices are geared towards this outcome. And the moment we learn this and start practicing it, life changes for the better!

But then there is hate, envy, greed and vanity. And overcoming these emotions can be a humongous task. But then these are partly nurtured. It is not human nature to harbor these emotions. It is human nature to transform and transcend these emotions..! And today is the day when this transcendence is celebrated. Today on Durga Ashtami day the Goddess Durga destroys an evil demon called Mahishasura. The demon stands for all these negative emotions that we harbor and the goddess stands for the energy that we need to annihilate these demons.

So celebrate this day and your ability to transcend!

[Mark 12:31: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”]

Need

This world needs you. This world, made up of little people with lofty ambitions, needs you as you are. You have come to this planet with a simple mission; and that is to be and live as you are.

What hinders us from perceiving this reality is our illusions about life and living. Let me tell you how I arrived at this beautiful conclusion. I was sitting all alone in my room, watching the beautiful sunset far away in the distance, absorbing the last golden rays, the vestiges of a beautiful day, feeling nostalgic and sad for unknown reasons. I would have been preoccupied further in the same way, when my smartphone suddenly beeped signaling the arrival of a chat message. When I took a look at my phone unwillingly, I saw a teary emoji and a message asking me for help. The warrior spirit took over me and forgetting myself for a moment, I began soothing my friend who was in distress. It was a silly reason over which she was unhappy, but her inability to have a clear perspective increased her confusion and dismay and left her with no sight of hope. All that she was seeking was a shoulder to cry upon, a willing ear to listen and a nurturing heart to care.

When I think about this incident, I have to admit that, the fact that my friend chose me in her hour of need defines my purpose in this life more clearly than anything else.

We all need people and things to make us feel sufficient and satisfied with our existence. In the same way, there are people and things that need us. You play an important as well as a trivial part in the life of all the people that you come across. As a child you delight your parents and guardians. As an adult you delight your friends and relatives. As a parent you support your children. As an employee you participate in a small but significant way in building the economy of your country. And believe me, if you are troublesome and wicked, you may be notorious and treated as an example of what not to be!

So, how can you feel worthless even for a moment? You must be thinking what my purpose was in writing this post. This post is for people who feel they are unwanted, unloved and who feel unsatisfied with their existence. I have met a lot of people who want to change their present state of life. They keep thinking that unless they achieve something, love someone, have something, be someone, they are not going to be satisfied. They look up to a ‘successful’ person and nurture an ambition to be like them. They compare themselves with others and feel miserable. They play with their own complexes and lose the game. And then they feel their existence is meaningless. A supreme illusion!

But then they forget, there are people who need them. They forget their purpose. I read about a recent divorce case of a celebrity which was making headlines for a few weeks on every TV channel and all the newspapers. Clearly, his commitment to his fans overrode all of his personal obligations. According to me, a celebrity has a noble purpose which is to put a smile on a million faces. The world needs them as much as it needs you. And that is because each is unique in his role and his purpose in serving the people around. And likewise every single thing that exists in this world has its purpose…Just like that one sunset which served its purpose by allowing me to wallow in melancholy…

 

Incomplete

The burden on my chest became lighter as hot tears trickled down my cheeks. My heart was expanding like the ocean, the waves breaking on all the shores, all at once, creating a chasm. But the bottom was not stony or rigid. It was somewhere between the solid and liquid, in an indefinable state. And warm and heavy like the slithering movement of a snake.

And long after when I was fully awake, I shed another silent warm tear for the indescribable loss I experienced in that virgin moment of the day. That tear merged me with the entity of my dream who was drowning in profound grief for eternity.

The entity looked with grieving eyes at the pearly gates on the other side. They no longer looked hospitable. The pleasant, white, pure dreams could not shine in those tear stained eyes. It was not the flesh, the impending loss of which was so discomforting. The heart ached for something else.

The children went first; two unsuspecting bright souls that chimed like silver bells on a beautiful day. The white robed devil with a peaceful smile was already leading them to the higher worlds. Their sight was not endearing to the troubled heart any more.

The entity sat in scarlet clothes of death with a tattered soul pining for the loss of something that the higher worlds could never bestow. And it sat and moaned and celebrated its grief ignoring the golden gates of heaven.

For it had never known love.