Relationship

I have south node in the 7th house which also receives a beneficial 5th aspect from Jupiter. What does it mean? It means it makes me a good marriage/relationship counselor. The testimony to this reading is the fact that, over the years, I’ve counseled many of my friends who have been having issues with their spouses. It never occurred to me that I was becoming a marriage counselor!

All these years, I’ve been reiterating just one thing which I strongly believe is important for good relationships. Expect little to avoid a big disappointment (which is not easy). However, today I realized something more important, a conclusion to this short statement here.

This is again not easy, unless one is ready to bring about a shift in their perception. So, logically that’s the first thing to do: Change the perception.. let’s see how I can explain it without digressing further..

One of the recurring problems that I’ve seen in relationships is the frustration bordering on depression for one’s inability to adjust with the spouse’s/partner’s behavior. Further, one desires a change in the spouse’s behavior that matches with one’s expectation of what is right or wrong. Inability to bring about this change results in needless quarrels, and a lot of misunderstandings, and the couple is usually locked in this state on irresolution for a really long time (forever).

I do not promote a change in behavior as a resolution to this problem. Usually, at this stage, when you talk to the partners, both are defiant and already playing the blame game to the best of their abilities. Both think they are correct from the way they perceive the situation. The fact is both are right!

I strongly believe that a change in behavior is not possible at all. A person is born with a package of qualities that are unfolded at different stages of the person’s life. There is no way you can change those qualities unless one is subjected to a strong conditioning exercise (even then it may not work). That is you cannot force a person to change. Therefore, the only solution that works here is a change in one’s perception and to accept the person for what he/she is. (This applies to both partners). This reiterates the first statement: Expect little. That is, do not expect the person will change. Do not even keep any false hopes that the person will change to a pattern of your liking.

The next thing to do, and this is important, is to accept that your partner is behaving in exactly a way that is useful for his/her personal development, as well as your growth on every level. Maybe the partner’s stubbornness and anger is necessary for him to develop his confidence; maybe her carelessness is a way of responding to a change, so that it does not affect her emotionally; maybe her refusal to be responsible is a deep seated fear, that she will gradually come to terms with; maybe her refusal to interact or socialize is necessary for spiritual development, maybe his naivety is necessary to add joy to his life….how many more examples can I give?

The best thing is that all this is making the other partner a better human being.

You are growing in ways you never realized was possible. A relationship is the best way to learn everything about human nature, provided you have the correct way of perceiving the lessons. Just branding a partner as careless, quarrelsome, angry, or irresponsible, is not teaching you anything, (and believe me, they are not that at all; your partner is simply a gift, and you need to decide what you want to do with them) or even adding value to your life. The real learning happens when you start analyzing the effects that the relationship causes. This will automatically bring about the required change in the partners and they will learn to respond with care, admiration, fun and love! What each partner needs is an acceptance of their true self.

Inability to accept someone fully is therefore, the main reason of disappointment.

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Are You Ready?

Some of us often need things for which we are not ready yet, or in some cases, not required at all. As human beings, we are primarily created to satisfy our desires. That’s what we do all life. The moment a desire enters our mind, we start planning about how best we could achieve it. If the desire is fulfilled at once, we are happy. But if the desire is not fulfilled, it leads to agony and depression. However, I have noticed that when a desire is not fulfilled, it is due to one of the following reasons:

  1. The person is not ready to handle the satisfaction of the desire
  2. The person does not need it for his soul path

The person is not ready. He does not understand that maybe he needs to take a little more effort and maybe give more time, till he becomes worthy of that achievement. Effort and time can even consume years and sometimes we give up, and therefore the agony.

Soul path is an interesting theory. Sometimes, a person is consistently deprived of a certain thing, only to understand that it is not required for his spiritual development. (After all, we are all fulfilling our desires so that we could enjoy it, experience it, and then put an end to it and finally grow towards detachment). So, say, if a person is deprived of ‘love’, he’s often mistaken that he would find it one day when he meets the right person. The right person never crosses his path. If the person is ready to understand the message that is being given in this process, then he would learn to detach himself from the feeling of love as he understands it, and convert it to a spiritual blessing (an example would be to use sublimation as the defence mechanism and make peace with life). Once a person starts thinking along those lines, he’s said to be living according to the principles of the Universe. It is called profound living.

But often, what I’ve seen is, people adopt one of the following ways (example – love):

  1. They get into a wrong relationship and pretend to be in love, just so that they are not ‘perceived’ to be lonely. (hypocrites)
  2. They start hunting for love desperately and fail eventually and turn bitter and hurt others. (ambitious)
  3. In extreme cases, they end their lives. (depressed)

When the desire is not fulfilled, and we do not understand why it was not fulfilled, it can lead to a great deal of negativity in life, which works against a harmonious state of our existence.

Depression is not the natural state of existence. It is the by product of our distorted thought processes.

So, whenever we feel that things are not working out, the questions that we need to ask are: Am I ready for it? Have I worked enough for it? Do I really need it? You will at once get all the answers!

 

 

 

 

 

Three Sides

Image result for we make life complicated quotes

You are going to enjoy this blog post I’m sure. I’ve made a discovery that has made me take a look at my life in a positive way!

Let me get straight to the point.

There are three areas of our life that need careful understanding.

We love something.

We obsess about something.

We are emotionally attached to something.

If we come to an honest understanding of these three ‘sides’ of our personality, we will, in an instant, simplify our lives.

(Even the kindest and most pure soul on this Earth will display these traits as long as he lives inside a body!)

Each one of us, in varying degrees, loves, obsesses and is emotionally attached to different material objects of this world. The idea is to find out what they are, and then go after them passionately.

As we headlong dash towards those objects, we can ensure that others feel the least amount of discomfort. (It may not be possible if your obsession works against someone’s welfare..but then, after all, we are pieces of jigsaw in the universal puzzle!)

Keeping it short, to give you some food for thought!

 

 

Incomplete

The burden on my chest became lighter as hot tears trickled down my cheeks. My heart was expanding like the ocean, the waves breaking on all the shores, all at once, creating a chasm. But the bottom was not stony or rigid. It was somewhere between the solid and liquid, in an indefinable state. And warm and heavy like the slithering movement of a snake.

And long after when I was fully awake, I shed another silent warm tear for the indescribable loss I experienced in that virgin moment of the day. That tear merged me with the entity of my dream who was drowning in profound grief for eternity.

The entity looked with grieving eyes at the pearly gates on the other side. They no longer looked hospitable. The pleasant, white, pure dreams could not shine in those tear stained eyes. It was not the flesh, the impending loss of which was so discomforting. The heart ached for something else.

The children went first; two unsuspecting bright souls that chimed like silver bells on a beautiful day. The white robed devil with a peaceful smile was already leading them to the higher worlds. Their sight was not endearing to the troubled heart any more.

The entity sat in scarlet clothes of death with a tattered soul pining for the loss of something that the higher worlds could never bestow. And it sat and moaned and celebrated its grief ignoring the golden gates of heaven.

For it had never known love.

 

Love

Didn’t know I’d be back here so soon. My last essay summed up the essence of my life for me. I didn’t want to look beyond anything now. But then suddenly out of nowhere this strange feeling engulfed me and left me feeling lost, confused and vulnerable.

And it became all the more severe with music. Music, the fodder for my soul. Only a sad heart knows how music heals. No, I am not sad..I am ecstatic! Because I’ve realized new meanings to re-live my life..

No, I’m not talking about the petty norms of our ‘civilized’ society which takes sadistic pleasure in ‘civilizing’ our emotions…! But I’m talking about love, that wonderful feeling which escapes definition and has yet been defined as love..

Though I’m glad there is a name to it..

We seem to have lost our selves, our true feelings, our soul.. and love is such a taboo in some societies.. If only they realized the power of love.. It took me a long time to feel this feeling of ecstacy and wonder that is called love. And by love again I don’t mean a feeling that is restricted to a particular relationship and revered by all.

When love fills you up, it flows out of you and touches every soul. It teaches you to accept everybody as they are.. but most importantly it broadens your perspectives and reveals your true identity to yourself. It’s the best and the easiest way to reach your soul. Love is magical, thrilling and delightful..This is the closest I could come to express it.

Its very sad to see love being abused by people as they attach conventions and definitions to this beautiful feeling. In the process they lose the real emotion. And then they end up having no love!

The world would be a different place if people let their souls guide their bodies. Lost and overwhelmed by their material needs, love becomes just another material possession for many.

But love escapes all this. It reveals itself in a fleeting moment to us..But we are so lost, so so lost that we do not perceive those moments at all.. But some do and they try toexpress it..but they fail..because it is a different dimension altogether. The conventions of our dimension will not be able to categorize or define it or even point at it. That is why some people do not understand or feel love, because they are shut, trapped!

I do not claim to have understood the feeling completely, because I’m trapped in my body too. But I’ve glimpsed those fleeting moments and I want to keep feeling it.. because in those moments I feel completely free and closer to my soul. Desire!! Its very hard to give up on ‘I’..

I keep wondering why people stop loving one another after a certain period of time. It is beacuse we define what is or should be love. We do not feel it..

The moment you start feeling love you would never be the same. That is the only criteria to realize that you are in love. And by change I again do not mean for a transitory moment. It is an everlasting state..